The Fart Bomb

My batch for some reason had this special affection towards our Maths lessons… while every other class could not think of even breathing wrong under Ma’am Dhondhiyal’s nose, all of our mischief was preserved for this one.

After a number of regular lessons, it was time for some action. Plans of action made, revisions of the plot done, the ones responsible ready with a bit of pride (they were the chosen ones you see) and a lot of excitement.. D-Day was here.

During the lecture, Monika, sitting in the centre of the class was supposed to burst open a Fart Bomb packet that we bought on a trip to Mussoorie.

Eyes met and signalled, Monika pressed the Kurkure like packet which seemed slimy from inside. Nothing happened, she pressed more and quite a lot of times….the instructions only asked to press…. And suddenly it started inflating itself, scared girl passed it to the girls in front, Aastha and Deepshikha but the packet won’t stop. They quickly threw it towards the last benchers of the row from under the desks obviously and……. BOOOOMMM!!!

Avantika was supposed to bang the desk matching timing with the boom sound as a compensation but amidst the chaos the coordination went off and she was a second late. Ma’am gave her that look (Girls know) and somewhat scared Aastha suddenly stood up to ask a question to divert the teacher’s attention while at the back, a very strong Hydrogen Sulphide like smell started to linger and quickly reached Ma’am too…

We were all asked to open our desks and lockers while Ma’am made rounds wondering if we were making our own little compost in the class but in vain.
Now sure that it was some one from us and giving quite an earful while we grinned hiding faces behind someone’s back, Ma’am sent us all to bathe ourselves…

In the middle of the day, one fine summer…. bathing and giggling, messing up a Maths lecture, it was all worthwhile.

– Kriti Singh (2008)

This piece was shared by Kriti Singh on  April 01, 2020 on the OG Langoors, Hoors & Khatte Angoors of their Life Facebook group.


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